- You’d never make a good pioneer woman. No matter how many episodes of “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman” and “Little House on the Prairie” you watched, when the power goes out, you realize that you just aren’t the kind of woman who can wash clothes by beating them with rocks in the creek like your grandmother did.
- You still can’t remember all the neighbors’ names when everyone congregates in the cul-de-sac to ruminate about the fallen tree that took down the power, cable and phone lines.
- You don’t mind that turning the stove on will overload the generator while the refrigerator is running and therefore will sacrifice turning it on. You have no problem eating dry cereal for lunch and picking up takeout for dinner every night. And as for the food in the frig? No way. It could give you salmonella.
- Your sense of smell improves in the dark, and your tolerance of kitchen garbage decreases.
- You are great at rationalizing the eating of high caloric food that might go bad if you don’t consume it quickly. Even food in boxes sitting on shelves.
- Wireless has become much too important in your life. Your fingers ache for the familiarity of “f-d-s-a-j-k-l-;”. You wake up in a cold sweat, realizing that you have been typing in your dreams and posting to Facebook and Twitter.
- You’d rather have a hot shower than hot sex. (From what you can recall.)
- You resent having to use math skills to keep from tripping the breaker while using the generator. You’re not a math major or an electrical engineer, after all, and you’re just too tired, hungry and cold to calculate which arrangement of appliances the generator can power without shutting down.
- You feel a little guilty reading by flashlight in bed, like a sneaky kid waiting for Mom to come in and make you turn the light out and go to sleep.
- You, the wife, must always know where the candles and matches are and must be able to light them within 60 seconds of blackout, just as he, the husband, must find the flashlights and extra batteries.
Photo by nateOne
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