(This post is dedicated to A. Bull, who acquainted me with this art form on Facebook.)
Every wife, sister, sister-in-law, mother or aunt of boys (got one brother, three sons, three nephews, one ex-husband, six ex-brothers-in-laws, and one current very flatulent husband) knows the joys of male farting.
Heck, throw in my mother-in-law, and you’ve pretty much got the full deck.
And of course, the more inappropriate, the more joyful – at least to them. School. Church. Quiet movie theater. Car with the windows up. Dinner table. No place is too sacred for male farting.
Even if they can’t work up a good internal combustion, there’s always the arm pits or hands to supply the sound – if not the aroma – or even a well-placed scrape of a chair leg when all else fails.
As the Mom, wife and societal designee to reinforce all-things-manners and civilized, I understand your frustration. It’s so hard to be indignant and instructional while stifling your own laughter.
Try as you might to teach these lower life forms that they’ll never get into Harvard, become CEOs or even get a date if they don’t first get some class, they only intensify their efforts knowing how much it flusters and embarrasses you.
But moms of the world – you can now relax! I have just learned that there is a future for these rootin’-tootin’, bean-bombing, sphincter whistlers. (Note: for even more creative names, visit the Fart Thesaurus.)
Yes, they have futures as musicians! Hand farters – otherwise known as manualists – have found quite an audience on YouTube. And this is apparently not a unique novelty. There are numerous groups making hand music including classical, standards, folk and rock. Something to delight everyone!
So for those moms still struggling to squelch this male trait, take note – there’s gold in them their farts! And for you older moms who may be missing the sound of music around the dinner table, this is for you.
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